Fear and confusionWith a population of just over three lakh, Hassan is a small town where almost everybody knows everybody.
A Hassan-based senior journalist and activist told TNM that many male JD(S) members now suspect that their wives are in the videos.
She lives in the lane next to my house.” Asked what she felt when she saw the videos, she replied, “I was disgusted.
I didn't even know what it meant, but it was terrifying,” she told TNM.
One parent, however, told TNM that she had spoken to her 19-year-old son, both about the sexually explicit content and the implications of the entire case given the immense power that Prajwal Revanna and his family hold.
Fear and confusion
With a population of just over three lakh, Hassan is a small town where almost everybody knows everybody. According to activists, the women in the videos include those who worked at Revanna’s properties, members of the Janata Dal (Secular), wives of JD(S) party workers, public officials, professionals, and the district’s social elite. A Hassan-based senior journalist and activist told TNM that many male JD(S) members now suspect that their wives are in the videos.
After initial hesitance, final-year BCom student Shreya* said that she saw pictures of some women: “I know one of the women. She lives in the lane next to my house.” Asked what she felt when she saw the videos, she replied, “I was disgusted. I don’t know if she went on her own or whether Prajwal Revanna abused his power, but the videos should not have been released.” Shreya said that she used to see the woman in her neighbourhood before the videos had been leaked, but not anymore.
A 20-year-old student named Priya* said that she knew one of the survivors. “She lives in my neighbourhood. The husband and wife are both JD(S) members,” she said, adding that the couple had not been seen out of their house since the incident came to light. “Residents started speculating about the identity of the women and as far as I know, the couple attempted suicide,” she said.
The videos include recordings of both sexual assault and sexual acts, the context of which is not known, and young people like Chaitra* who have little knowledge about sex could end up being frightened or get the wrong ideas about sex.
Chaitra*, a student, got a video clip on a neighbourhood WhatsApp group of her “annas” (brothers), as she refers to male acquaintances from her neighbourhood. “I accidentally saw the clip. I didn't even know what it meant, but it was terrifying,” she told TNM. Asked what she saw, she struggled to find the words. Her reaction suggested that she was shocked by visuals of sexual acts and male genitals. She said the video struck fear in her, as she had watched visuals of oral sex. “If this is what marriage is, I don't want to get married,” she said.
Shalini Aiyappa, a Mangaluru-based psychologist with counselling experience of nearly 30 years, said that Chaitra’s fear of marriage after watching the video is not surprising in a male-dominated society. “A man does not have the licence to do whatever he wishes just because it’s a marriage, but a patriarchal society will have you believe that.”
But this is exactly the idea that young people will get unless parents address the incomprehension and fears that young people may develop after watching these videos, Shalini said.
“Parents should tell their sons that they should respect their partners. They should ask their daughters if they’ve seen the videos and discuss their content. On the whole, they should tell their children that any relationship, sexual or otherwise, has to be about respect. Young people need to be told that in any sexual activity, both the man and woman should clearly communicate what they want. If one person does not wish to do something, their feelings should be respected. If people have the right information about sex, and if they’ve been told they have a choice with regard to all aspects of their lives, they won’t be so scared if they watch such a video,” she said.
Students who spoke to TNM said they had not spoken to each other about the videos. Most parents of teenagers appeared to have responded in a knee-jerk manner: they simply confiscated their children’s phones to prevent them from watching the videos.
We asked 40-year-old Chandrakala* who runs a condiments shop in Hassan town, what she thought about the videos of women in her hometown being watched by everyone. She spoke at length, repeating news developments, and mentioning that she feared that children would get wrong ideas about sex and women if they watched the videos. Chandrakala worried about the impact it would have when parents are getting their daughters married: “Because we’re from Hassan, people will wonder whether our daughters were in the videos.”
Only accidentally did she mention that her 20-year-old daughter had watched the videos. It came up during a conversation with her daughter and it left her stumped.
Asked if she had spoken to her daughter about what she had seen, Chandrakala said, “We are a society in which people look away even if women’s clothes are dishevelled. How can I talk to her about this?” She then felt the need to defend her daughter, lest she be judged for having seen sexually explicit content. “Her friends sent it to her. She is very innocent. She’s the type who cries easily,” she said.
One parent, however, told TNM that she had spoken to her 19-year-old son, both about the sexually explicit content and the implications of the entire case given the immense power that Prajwal Revanna and his family hold. “I spoke to him about the allegations and told him to vote wisely,” said 44-year-old Raksha*.
As a biology teacher at a government school in Hassan, difficult conversations are part of the way Raksha has raised her son. A couple of years ago, she found that he had been watching porn on his phone. “I told him that sex is not everything, that liking a person is important in a relationship. I also explained to him that everything one watches in a porn video may not be done out of free will and that the women in such videos may have been forced to resort to such work due to their circumstances,” she said.
